The diet starts Monday.

The diet starts Monday.

Monday's woman is fair of face and starts the week with a plan,

She decides that she wants to cut down on cake to be the best woman she can,

She loads up on seeds, skimmed milk and fruit with a 30g bowl of Bran Flakes,

And feels really great that she's doing so well...not a thought of crisps, pies or cakes.

 

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And the award goes to...

And the award goes to...

Being a wife and a mother can be a totally thankless calling.

Cooking, cleaning, scraping shit off the laminate flooring, wiping snot and dribble from chins, ordering groceries, wiping urine from the toilet seat, folding pants,enduring soft play, spending your beer money on Matchbox cars and Ipad apps, feasting on Fishfingers and Smiley Faces,hiding vegetables in the chocolate cake, going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5am, having to wear clothes that are always soiled in chocolate, snot, dribble or a combo of the three.

It’s hard.

And other than the occasional bunch of flowers (usually with twenty percent off as they’re already half dead), or a trip to Pizza Express on a Wednesday coupon day, my man rarely makes a gesture of thanks.

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