Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

It's 2.32 am. It's March. A mother and father sleep soundly in their King-sized bed. A mild aroma of guff hangs in the air.

'Awwww! Uh, huh, uh, huh, uh, huh!!! Uggggggghhhhh!'

Mum leaps out of bed onto all fours like a startled cat. Her ears prick up. She immediately detects the smell of guff.  She darts into the kids bedroom towards the source of the disruption to find Kid 1 sobbing with his arms sprawled out in the air waiting to be lifted up.

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How To Stay Conscious For Long Enough To Raise Your Kids!

How To Stay Conscious For Long Enough To Raise Your Kids!

Parenting is an exhausting business- from start to finish...wherever that finishing line is. I'll be damned if I know.

When I fell pregnant with my first child, I felt like I had been hit with a tranquilliser dart. Growing a human sure does take it out of you.  I would drag my fat ass around London, cello in tow, looking like an extra from Shaun of the Dead ( a musical one though).  I'd nap whenever and wherever possible. Most days I was so knackered that I'd have to climb into bed at 4 pm the minute I got in from work

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What's The Worst That Could Happen?

What's The Worst That Could Happen?

*Warning. May cause offence to Politicians

My toddler woke up at 4.12 am on Thursday. Screaming. Loudly.

My first reaction? Dummy!!! I stuck it in his mouth sharpish...but he spat it out.

Plan B?...I held the dummy in his mouth, lay him down and patted his tiny bum for reassurance. But he kept leaping back up, crying louder and louder and rattled the bars of his cot like a wild caged animal.

Plan C?....I lifted him (I know, I know...BAD move) and gave him a hug. He calmed down and then I tried to stick him back in his cot. Oh no. NO DEAL. He went mental. So I made the worst decision ever...

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