Operation: School RUN.

Operation: School RUN.

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 7 AM AND 8 AM ON THE SECOND DAY OF THE SCHOOL TERM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

  • 7.AM      Kid 1 and Kid 2 are dragged from their beds.
  • 7.10 AM  Milk is warmed in the microwave for 28 seconds.
  • 7.12 AM  Milk is served. Kid 1 kicks up an almighty stink as his milk is served in an unacceptable receptacle. Receptacle is changed to the appropriate one with an 'Olaf' on the front of it. Crisis averted.
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And the award goes to...

And the award goes to...

Being a wife and a mother can be a totally thankless calling.

Cooking, cleaning, scraping shit off the laminate flooring, wiping snot and dribble from chins, ordering groceries, wiping urine from the toilet seat, folding pants,enduring soft play, spending your beer money on Matchbox cars and Ipad apps, feasting on Fishfingers and Smiley Faces,hiding vegetables in the chocolate cake, going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5am, having to wear clothes that are always soiled in chocolate, snot, dribble or a combo of the three.

It’s hard.

And other than the occasional bunch of flowers (usually with twenty percent off as they’re already half dead), or a trip to Pizza Express on a Wednesday coupon day, my man rarely makes a gesture of thanks.

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