Barry Poppins

Barry Poppins

I abandoned my children for five straight days and nights last week.

I didn't fly off to Jamaica to lie on a sunbed sucking up Pina Coladas with a straw whilst poisoning my pure brain cells reading about the latest x-rated shenanigans of Christian Grey and his leather whip. 

Read More

10 Careers ALL Parents Could Have

10 Careers ALL Parents Could Have

I am a musician by trade. And yes, before you ask,  it is a real job.

The job, as does most, comes with many highs and lows.

Highs include: Travelling to amazing places, playing at major venues, working alongside your friends, working with celebrities, playing on TV, having lots of days off, variety- as no two days are ever the same, plus sometimes- and it's not often, but sometimes you get free booze!!

Lows include: Airport check-ins at 5 am, erratic schedules, eating soggy boxed sandwiches from petrol stations for your dinner 3 nights in a row, spending a lot of time in your pants watching Jeremy Kyle waiting for a gig to come in, trouble getting car insurance, trouble getting mortgages (banks don't think it's a real job) and dealing with people on the tube who say 'Gawd, that's a big violin'. (The most original and over-stated observation that is always said to a woman carrying a cello)

Read More

And The Award Goes To....

And The Award Goes To....

Being a wife and a mother can be a totally thankless calling:

Cooking, cleaning, scraping shit off the laminate flooring, ordering groceries, wiping urine from the toilet seat, folding pants, enduring soft play, spending your beer money on Matchbox cars and iPad apps, feasting on Fishfingers and Smiley Faces for every meal, hiding vegetables in the chocolate cake, going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5 am, having to wear clothes that are always soiled in chocolate, snot, dribble or a combo of the three.

It's hard.

And other than the occasional bunch of flowers (usually with twenty percent off as they're already half dead), or a trip to Pizza Express on a Wednesday '241' coupon day, my husband rarely makes a gesture of thanks.

Read More