How To Get Your Man To Listen To You.

How To Get Your Man To Listen To You.

A top family barrister once told me that in her experience the main reason that couples get divorced is because: 

A. The husband complains that his wife will not have sex with him

B. The wife feels that the husband doesn't listen to her. 

Now, I'm not too worried about point A. I for one am definitely up for a bonk of an evening. If my husband and I were ever conscious for longer 30 minutes after putting (forcing) our young kids to bed, then I certainly wouldn't turn him away. He is a rather handsome man after all.

 

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Why Big Macs Make Me A Better Parent.

Why Big Macs Make Me A Better Parent.

It was my birthday this week. Sigh. 

This morning I glanced in the mirror and noticed yet another roll of skin had descended over the top of my Primark full briefs- the flimsy elastic had given up the fight and had surrendered and drowned under an avalanche of flab...a 'flabalanche' if you will. I also noticed that despite my son being three years old, I was still wearing my maternity leggings. Shameful I know.

 

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10 Careers ALL Parents Could Have

10 Careers ALL Parents Could Have

I am a musician by trade. And yes, before you ask,  it is a real job.

The job, as does most, comes with many highs and lows.

Highs include: Travelling to amazing places, playing at major venues, working alongside your friends, working with celebrities, playing on TV, having lots of days off, variety- as no two days are ever the same, plus sometimes- and it's not often, but sometimes you get free booze!!

Lows include: Airport check-ins at 5 am, erratic schedules, eating soggy boxed sandwiches from petrol stations for your dinner 3 nights in a row, spending a lot of time in your pants watching Jeremy Kyle waiting for a gig to come in, trouble getting car insurance, trouble getting mortgages (banks don't think it's a real job) and dealing with people on the tube who say 'Gawd, that's a big violin'. (The most original and over-stated observation that is always said to a woman carrying a cello)

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28 plays later.

28 plays later.

There are a few things in life that drive fear and dread into my wearisome ventricles and make me want to grab my passport and head to Mexico to live out my days drinking tequila, whilst strumming a banjo. The first is going to Tesco's on a Saturday, next is the smear test (ugh!!) and top of the list is SOFT PLAY.

For those with you without kids, let me just explain what soft play is:

Soft play is the beginning of the END of the world.

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