Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

My son came home from school this week and told us that he is being picked on by another kid in the playground.

A little punk by the name of Brian.

Naturally, we were very concerned. I immediately tried to sit my husband down to have a discussion about how to handle this somewhat delicate situation. But my husband didn't want to discuss it.  Instead, he disappeared into the spare room to 'think'.... and in his 'thinking room' he stayed for quite some time.

When he emerged, he had the following solutions to my son's problem:

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What If Adults Behaved Like Kids?....

What If Adults Behaved Like Kids?....

Last week, I had the rare treat of going out for a delicious fry-up at a local café. My husband and I were WITHOUT kids, so I was more excited than usual at the prospect of devouring a massive HOT plate of fried greasy meat and carbs, without having a 5 year old ruin it by announcing that he needs a poo the moment the food arrives at the table. 

I asked for the standard ' Ultimate Champion Breakfast', with toast on the side- and a cup of fine English tea. I was excited...I won't lie.

When the plate arrived,  I saw bacon (nice!) eggs ( Yes!!) and massive sausage (always impressive!!) and Baked Beans ON the toast-NOT on the side as I specifically asked for (GAG!). I have a very sensitive gag reflex as it happens and bean-drenched soggy bread really makes me what to chunder. It's unacceptable to me and I was disappointed. The meal was ruined. Ruined I tell you!!

I pondered how my 3 year old child would have reacted to the situation. If he had received this plate of food, he would have yelled 'YUCK!!!' before pushing the plate out of the way aggressively, perhaps even onto the floor, and demanding a new piece of dry toast. An overboard reaction, yes,  but I am certain that he would have received a positive outcome and a fresh piece of dried toast would have been served up to 'Keep the peace'.

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Jingle Balls.

Jingle Balls.

This post is a few days late as I have been juggling a lot of balls this week.Literally.

I have had balls flying at me from every angle and I have been knocking some out of the way with my metaphorical bat but sadly have tripped on others

Here's my list of Ball aches:

JINGLE BALLS.

We put the Christmas tree up on Sunday morning before I headed out to work

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Square, Diamond, Asshole.

Square, Diamond, Asshole.

It has finally happened. 

After waiting well over two years for Bob to speak, he has finally opened his little trap and spoken a few words.

You'll all be pleased to hear that he is in fact English.

Up until now, Bob's talking has been merely an incoherent babble that sounded like a cross between Swedish and Korean. Adding to the fact that he goes nuts for a meatball at Ikea and is always totally transfixed by the Gangnam Style video, Jay and I had strong concerns that there had been a mix-up at the hospital and that he wasn't our child at all!!

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