Square, Diamond, Asshole.

It has finally happened. 

After waiting well over two years for Bob to speak, he has finally opened his little trap and spoken a few words. You'll all be pleased to hear that he is in fact English.

Up until now, Bob's talking has been merely an incoherent babble that sounded like a cross between Swedish and Korean. Adding to the fact that he goes nuts for a meatball at Ikea and is always totally transfixed by the Gangnam Style video, Jay and I had strong concerns that there had been a mix-up at the hospital and that he wasn't our child at all!! Every meatball that he devoured and every over enthusiastic swing of the hips to the mesmerizing video lead us to believe that he was pining for his lost parents and was desperate to reconnect with his Swedish/Korean roots.

Bob is the opposite of Jay (my husband) and I....he has never been much of a talker and Jay and I are BIG talkers.

Jay is the sort of guy who if you stopped him in the street to ask for directions, you'd be there for HOURS. He'd give you a list of instructions which he would deliver with supreme enthusiasm whilst using his full arms for emphasis. From a distance, an onlooker may think he was street dancing.

He almost always shares highlights of his life story or information about great pubs in the area....whether you wanted a pint or not. The guy will not be silenced.

Me? Well, I love to talk myself as it happens....you could say that I have a gift for conversation. I am the sort of person who goes to the toilet in the pub and inevitably befriends the person in the cubicle next to me. Within ten minutes, I have their full relationship history, full details of their gruesome labour stories and an invitation to their Ann Summer's party.

Our kid? ....well he doesn't say much.... and what he does say isn't even English.

At least not up until now.

But alas, on this fine morning, when trying to learn his shapes, his little mouth opened and three glorious words flowed out.

'Square,  diamond, and ASSHOLE!'.

YES!!!.... Never has a mother been so proud!! And given his choice of words, I am now 100% confident that the kid is ours.

RELIEF!!!!!