Painting The Town Tartan....

Painting The Town Tartan....

He didn't like it one bit, especially when I dragged him into the changing room and forced him to try on six budget shirts and four pairs of combat shorts. He grumbled, exhaled many a loud puff of air and reached for his phone which I had to snatch out of his mitts and eventually confiscate. 

We left the shop with three massive bags filled to the brim with jumpers, shorts, a hat, gloves, T-shirts and some nice new socks; plus new jams and hoodies for the kids as standard. My husband was in bad shape.The colour had drained from his face as had the balance of his bank account and he insisted that the only way to restore his depleted levels of joy was to hit the pub.

And so off we went for a pint. 

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Carry On Katy Does New York: The UNCENSORED Version

Carry On Katy Does New York: The UNCENSORED Version

I am only sorry that my youngest failed to hold in his pungent guffs on this occasion, but I guess Santa can handle such ungodly stenches given that he has a splendid, thick tash protecting his nostrils. Considering what he does for a living, it's no wonder the guy has never shaved.

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How To Maintain A Healthy Sex Life After Having Kids

How To Maintain A Healthy Sex Life After  Having Kids

Now, before I begin, I'd like to apologise to my parents who most definitely WILL read this post given that they are the number one fans of my blog.

But Mum, Dad, you have to understand that your grandkids weren't delivered here by storks gliding through the glorious Autumnal skies.

They are here because your little girl bumped uglies with your son-in-law.

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Top Tips For A Successful All-Inclusive Family Holiday

Top Tips For A Successful All-Inclusive Family Holiday

If you haven't got adequate travel insurance to cover having invasive surgery to remove your costume from your colon, or if you aren't comfortable with flashing your low hangers to a crowd of strangers, then make sure you pack a roll of gaffer tape in your case and secure all loose parts down before mounting the deathly slide.

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The REAL Fairy Tale Of New York

The REAL Fairy Tale Of New York

Santa then bragged about his contract renewal with Coca-Cola, the new line of Thorntons chocolate Santas that were hitting the shops and the fact that Asda, Tescos and Sainsburys were now devoting aisle 3 of their stores to sell his merchandise from as early as the end of October.

That fat, lazy old bastard!

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