The diet starts Monday.

The diet starts Monday.

Monday's woman is fair of face and starts the week with a plan,

She decides that she wants to cut down on cake to be the best woman she can,

She loads up on seeds, skimmed milk and fruit with a 30g bowl of Bran Flakes,

And feels really great that she's doing so well...not a thought of crisps, pies or cakes.

 

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Ode to the iPad

Ode to the iPad

iPad, iPad, i love you so much,

You're so shiny and pretty and so very lush to touch,

You're my first thought in the morning when I drag myself from bed,

And my last thought in the evening: I want you buried with me when I'm DEAD.

You've replaced my laptop, my kindle and my prehistoric telly,

I don't need them, I just need YOU and want to spend hours stroking your belly.

 

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