What EVERY Woman Needs In Her Life...

What EVERY Woman Needs In Her Life...

WARNING!!: If you are offended by images of phallic objects, or the use of colourful nouns, then please look away. But I am guessing that you aren't or else you wouldn't have clicked on the link with the picture of a happy penis on it!!

 So, if you are intrigued, please read on. You will not be judged for satisfying your curiosity.... at least not by me.

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The REAL Fairy Tale Of New York

The REAL Fairy Tale Of New York

Santa then bragged about his contract renewal with Coca-Cola, the new line of Thorntons chocolate Santas that were hitting the shops and the fact that Asda, Tescos and Sainsburys were now devoting aisle 3 of their stores to sell his merchandise from as early as the end of October.

That fat, lazy old bastard!

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16 Things That Are Likely To Happen This Christmas

16 Things That Are Likely To Happen This Christmas

. "These Brussel sprouts are wonderful!!", an elderly relative will say.

Yes they are, but only because they have been smothered in garlic and have had 2lbs of fried crispy bacon thrown on top of them just to disguise the fact that they taste of human guff.

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The 'Baby Cheeses' And Other Things That Confuse Kids At Christmas

The 'Baby Cheeses' And Other Things That Confuse Kids At Christmas

He knows that he has to be good. He knows that if he forces down the broccoli, the mysterious pensioner may well squeeze down our non-existent chimney on Christmas eve and deliver him a Play Doh set and an alphabet puzzle (I know, weird kid but that's what he wants).

It all makes perfect sense doesn't it?

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6 Vital Life Lessons Learnt From Going On A British Caravan Holiday.

6 Vital Life Lessons Learnt From Going On A British Caravan Holiday.

It's only when spending a weekend in a cramped metal box with your family that one learns the importance of personal space...and the significance of having windows which open.

The percussive plops of your husband defecating will ricochet off the tin walls and you'll be reaching for the TV remote control to drown out the ghastly sound in a bid to salvage any romance that is left in your marriage.

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